Cigarette Break

-
Break 
INT – MCDONALDS KITCHEN 
MONTAGE -  
A) Burgers frying on grill 
B) Chips plunged into fryer 
C) Box lid closed 
D) Paper bag taken 
E) Order number yelled out 
F) CHRIS unties apron  
G) CHRIS yells out his break, and throws open the back door 
EXT – BEHIND MCDONALDS, INDUSTRIAL BINS LITTER THE SMALL ALLEY, TWO OUTCROPPINGS JUT FROM EITHER SIDE AND ACT AS SEATING FOR CHRIS AND JOE, A ROAD RUNS OPPOSITE THEM AND WE HEAR TRAFFIC ROLL SLOWLY PAST. CHRIS EMERGES FROM THE CENTRAL DOOR, JOE IS SMOKING. 
CHRIS 
You alright? 
JOE 
Oh, yeah... you? 
CHRIS 
Yeah... You mind lending us one? 
JOE 
Oh... sure. 
JOE EXTENDS A CIGARETTE TO CHRIS, WHO TAKES THIS AWKWARDLY. JOE LIGHTS CHRIS' CIGARETTE, AND HE BEGINS TO COUGH VIOLENTLY.  
CHRIS 
Ah, haven't had one in a bit... 
JOE 
Yeah... 
CHRIS 
Long shift... 
JOE 
Mhm. 
CHRIS 
Been in since eleven mate... non-stop, you know? 
JOE 
Yeah... 
CHRIS 
What about you? 
JOE 
Nine. 
CHRIS 
In the morning? 
JOE 
Nah, nine last night. What do you think? 
CHRIS 
I was gunna say, that's a mad shift. 
JOE 
But I wasn't in at nine last night... that was a joke... 
CHRIS 
Oh I know, I know... but imagine if you were... that's like... nine till four... that's like... 
(CHRIS begins to count on his fingers) 
JOE 
Nineteen 
CHRIS 
Mad... nineteen hours? I'd die if I was working that... 
JOE 
You do know I didn't actually work that... it was a joke... 
CHRIS 
No, yeah... yeah... I know... but like... imagine.  
JOE 
Yeah... 
LONG PAUSE 
CHRIS 
You in tomorrow? 
JOE 
Nah. 
CHRIS 
Oh. 
JOE 
Yeah... 
CHRIS 
You normally are, aren't you...? 
JOE 
Yeah, but I'm away so... 
CHRIS 
Oh sick, holiday is it? 
JOE 
Sort of... 
CHRIS 
Where to? 
JOE 
Bradford. 
CHRIS 
Oh... yeah... Spain right? 
JOE 
Yorkshire... 
CHRIS 
Oh right... where's that? 
JOE 
North innit. 
CHRIS 
So, like... Antarctica? 
JOE 
Nah, mate it's in England. 
CHRIS 
(Disappointed) 
Oh... yeah right... that's cool... what you going there for?  
JOE 
Nans funeral. 
CHRIS 
Oh... 
JOE 
Yeah... 
CHRIS 
When'd she... you know? 
JOE 
Monday... 
CHRIS 
Yeah... my Nan died like three years ago yeah... got like five grand inheritance, didn't I. Paid for my gap year to Maga so... 
JOE 
(Abruptly) 
Yep. 
LONG PAUSE 
CHRIS 
Got an Xbox with it too... if you're not into holidays... and that... so... You know if they got any more pickles in...? 
(JOE stares in irritation) 
We just ran out this morning... so like, just if we... had a new... shipment... I guess... 
JOE Why would I know if we had more pickles Chris? How could I possibly know? And more importantly, why would I care?  
CHRIS 
What if you get asked to make a ninety-nine p cheeseburger? Huh? How you gunna put in the two slices of pickle required for that sandwich if there aren't any pickles? 
JOE 
Funnily enough Chris, I'm not thinking about how I'll make a ninety-nine p cheeseburger, I'm more concerned about my dead Nan's fucking funeral tomorrow! 
CHRIS 
With the inheritance you could get like... five thousand cheeseburgers- 
JOE 
Shut up about the inheritance, Chris! I don't care about the money! 
CHRIS 
Well why you working at McDonalds then? 
JOE 
Because I need the- SHUT THE FUCK UP! 
JOE STORMS INSIDE, LEAVING CHRIS SEATED ALONE FOR A MOMENT OR TWO, HE GRINS FEELING TRIUMPHANT AFTER THE ARGUMENT, TAKES ANOTHER DRAG AND BLOWS OUT A CLOUD OF SMOKE. 


In this script, I tried to capture a similar feeling to 'The Ellington Kid', with relatively dark comedy and the intro montage being almost taken straight from it. I wanted to focus on audience expectation and how mundane life is, with almost nothing happening between point A and B. Obviously the main focus here is the dialogue, with little moments of character leaking through. I do like this script and it's basic idea, but feel it could be a little too mundane and wouldn't present me with much difficulty to film. It would all just be a little too simplistic and probably not that interesting to watch. Also the shots would be very standard and uninteresting. It's by no means a bad idea or a bad script, but just isn't what I want to do for this short. As I said form the beginning, the story must be kept simple, and this is as simple as it gets. However, I do like my initial idea of a visual and music reliant piece, which this would not be.         

Comments

  1. Caroline Birks18 October 2018 at 12:43

    I like this script - meeting over a cigarette gives the perfect situation for dialogue to develop. That said, I'm not completely convinced by some of the dialogue and it will need further development.

    ReplyDelete

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